I have a testimony of how I changed from feeling so lonely
It started with a want, that turned into a need
A feeling of purpose I had never perceived
It was like a flash of lightning that caught my attention quickly
An epiphany that could not be taken lightly
I saw God's love through a new pair of eyes,
And found God's truth in all of the worlds lies
I am important, worthy and capable of being loved
But, more than that I am saved through Jesus Christ, God's son
So, lonely I am no more since Jesus knocked at my hearts door. -The Woven Woman
This was the first poem I wrote after giving my life to Jesus. I remember the day I wrote it, I was so overwhelmed by Gods presence I don't even think I can take full credit for it. It was like he was writing it through me. This poem is very dear to my heart. It's my testimony. I was 18 when I surrendered my life to Jesus. I graduated High school with absolutely no plans for college, I had no ideas for the future. My entire high school career had been devoted to my friends and having fun. We were always on the move, always laughing, always there for each other and always getting into trouble. I don't remember how and when things changed but slowly I began to distance myself, I was 17 years old. My routine was wake up, go to school, go to work, and sleep. Anytime between was spent alone. I had fallen into a deep depression. I even distanced myself from my family. (My family-Mom, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins-are my everything!!!) I felt totally alone. I was so confused, always trying to figure my life out…my purpose. I remember being so frustrated, what am I doing here! I had no joy, and no motivation. I was lost. For an entire year, that was my life. I felt hopeless. The sad part about it was I didn't let anyone know. I kept what I was going through to myself and hid my depression. My life was agony, constant worry and stress. The devil really beat me up at that time in my life. Always whispering doubt and despair into my ear. You're not worthy, you're nothing, no one loves you, you're a joke, you're not smart…those are just few things, Satan tormented me with. Praise God I have a mother who raised me in church and taught me right from wrong and prayed through for me. The lies of Satan were oppressing me, but he wasn't winning. All those things he was speaking to me could've resulted in me harming myself or suicide, but I thank God for my praying Mother because I know she played a part in my Victory over Satan. Then it happened! I finally had enough. I was at the end of my rope. I was broken and beat up and in need of a savior. All the things I heard and learned in church growing up finally became reality to me. I realized I couldn't do it myself. I needed God. I knelt beside my bed at 11:00 at night, crying and pouring my heart out and I said God, I need you! Please God, take this from me. All this pain and anger. Forgive me Lord. I know I can't make it in this life without you. I need you, I love you! And in that moment, my heart changed. I call it my light bulb moment, because all of the sudden my eyes were opened and I could see things clear. My life made sense for the first time. I wasn't stumbling around in the darkness. God had shone His light on me and completed me. He put my broken pieces back together. He restored my joy, peace, love, hope, and faith! I was a new creation! I praise God that I have been able to serve Him going on 10 years now. Yes, the road has been rough along the way but, I am persevering. No longer lonely because Jesus is my friend, my chain breaker, my way maker, and my savior!
Prayer: Lord, I just want to thank you again for what you did at Calvary. Lord thank you for my eternal gift of salvation. Thank you for always being there for me, and helping me in my time of need. I praise you for your saving grace. Lord, I pray this post touches the hearts of many and that you will be glorified! I love and bless your name! Amen.